Recently, New York Magazine ran a lengthy feature billed as “a comprehensive investigation into the pros, cons, and controversies of circumcision.” The editorial was typically astute, spread across no fewer than a dozen stories, offering multiple view points, diagrams and even book notes, but what prompted it? Is it such a hotbed issue to warrant so much attention?
When I was asked to address this topic, I literally had no idea what I was going to write. I had no opinion on circumcision, though my own boy is circumcised. When the time came for the decision to cut or not to cut our firstborn, I gave my husband the reins. (He is the proud owner of the aforementioned hardware.)
A quick note: Bringing the topic of circumcision up in a bar is never a good idea. Believe me; I learned this lesson the hard way. While enjoying beautiful sour ale with some friends, I brought up my new writing gig. I mentioned this article and all hell broke loose. I’ll save you the colorful language, but who would have ever thought that mixing penises and booze could turn so volatile?
Since this assignment, I have read about the argument on both sides. When I found myself in the middle of an argument against circumcision and couldn’t respond for or against, I knew I had to get to work. My lack of a penis and knowledge of circumcision did not allow me to enter the conversation. I sat and listened to others’ passion on the issue and found that I was inspired to make my own decision. I knew the American Academy of Pediatrics took somewhat of a lame stance on it, so I dug deeper. As with most issues, there are pros and cons, extreme views, lack of information – or too much at that. I read stories about the risk of circumcision and the risks associated with not being circumcised. I read stories that called the parents of circumcised boys “genital mutilators.” I heard about the sex lives of men who are cut and men who are not (both seem to do fine, trust me). I read about how circumcision is a necessity in third world countries as it has been a proven method of preventing the spread of AIDS.
When we made the decision to cut the foreskin off our son’s penis, we had other things on our mind. Our son was diagnosed in utero with a kidney disease and our concern regarding that overtook our every move. When it came down to it, we listened to our doctor. She believed that it was a good medical decision. We listened, and we gave the go ahead.
My son is 4 now, and as I look back at that day I have no regrets. My husband and I made a decision that we believed to be beneficial for our child. Would I make the same decision today? To be honest, I don’t think so. The more I learn about it, the less I believe it to be necessary for the safety of my child. But with my newfound knowledge regarding the cutting issue, I make no judgments on those who choose differently than me.
Choice is the beauty of parenting. As parents we face choices every day, some made in haste, some made out of necessity, and all made out of love. Circumcision is a choice made by the parents for their child. They may make the choice based on religious beliefs, a medical standpoint or even vanity, but I don’t believe that any parent who makes the choice for circumcision does so because they want to hurt their child. I certainly didn’t.
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